I’m not keeping score. Really, I’m not.
I’ve been cultivating a mediation practice for 7 years now. Wow. I only figured that out when I went to put away my 2014 meditation journal and realized I had a bunch of Moleskin notebooks already in storage.
I haven’t re-read any of them. Never felt the need. Which is the point of being mindful, I guess. Those moments were now in the past.
I’ve been tempted to choose other styles of journals (I did covet a red hardcover Moleskin book for a while). But I kept returning to the idea that I wanted my meditation practice to be regular, steady and reliable. Changing the journal would distract me from that, I thought.
I remember when I first started, one of my mentors told me that my meditation practice could be something I’d come to rely on. I didn’t take that too seriously then because I didn’t want the added pressure and responsibility of her comment. I just made sure I tried to sit and that was enough to make me keep coming back.
I laid the journals out like dominos and put my new 2015 Moleskin notebook on top. I liked the sameness of them, all together. Not sure what I’ll do with them. Maybe I’ll have a ritual burning one day?
I’m thankful for discovering meditation and how the practice has sustained me. I’m not claiming to be “holier-than-thou” for doing it. I just know it’s something I have to keep doing because everything makes a little more sense when I make the time to sit with my breath and thoughts.