Something left over for me

I’m physically tired.

There’s been a lot going on.  I had appointments on Saturday AM, then was off to the clinic’s summer party in the afternoon.  I taught two yoga classes on Sunday and did yard work for the remainder of the day.  Back at the clinic the next morning then babysat my nephew for a few hours (changed his diaper twice!!).  Tuesday, I did some research on an interesting case involving hind leg lameness in a very sweet Doberman.

As I like to say to the vet techs at the clinic, “Never a dull moment!”.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, I have an afternoon off.  One of the clinic owners graciously offered to cover my shift so that I could enjoy the breeze and blue skies.  I would have been fine seeing patients all day.  But now that I know I don’t have to be “on”, I’m feeling the adrenalin fading.  It’s amazing how my body knows when it’s ok to let go.

I’m the kind of person that’s very good at getting sick on her day off, during holidays or just for the evening.  My body can push it until it’s “allowed” to shut down.  And then, when I have to get going again, I’m revived miraculously.

It makes me think of a story that hit the local news about Bruce Crozier, an area politician that passed away suddenly.  He announced his retirement two days before he died of an aneurysm.  I don’t want to be like that.  Is it possible to know what the future has in store for me?  No, but then no one else knows either.  I’ve come to see that, although I love my work and feel grateful to be serving others, I need to have a little something of me left over for me.

At this very moment, I’m giving my gentle attention to the highs and lows of my current energy level.  I’ll be mindful and go with what my body is telling me.  Right now, it’s saying, “Take a little break.  Time to be kind to my Self.”.

So I sit here, looking out at the waves on the river.  Watching the pleasure boats, the cargo ships, the helicopter (search and rescue type!?!) as they float across the cloudless sky.  Closing my eyes and letting the cool breeze flow over me.

Making sure that I have something left over for me too…

Note: I wrote this post last week but was too tired to actually put it on the blog at that time.  So although it is a little out of context, I thought the idea behind it was still worth putting out there.